Sarah's Blog

So a little about me and my background.

I'm a 40 year old single mum, divorced for 10 years and my beautiful though stressful children are 14 and 11 years old. I am a mature student studying my first degree after an accident led to me losing my job. This has left me with a lifetime medical condition that I manage sometimes badly everyday, but I manage. I have been through some very tough times in my life, my now ex husband leaving me and my two children homeless and having to restart our lives not once but now twice.

I have had a problem with my weight since I was 23 years old. I have tried every diet under the sun, sometimes to the point where I have ended up in hospital. Please know I have been desperate enough to lose weight that I have damaged my own life in the process. Now I look at life in a different way, well I am trying to. I want to make my life to be about the things I am going to achieve. I don't want my life to be just something that passes me by anymore. I am making small changes to make my life relavent. I don't want to be stick thin anymore. I don't want to be like the women I see on TV.

I do however want to be healthy and happy. I know that I am going to slip up and old habits will rear their ugly heads but I am human, I will make mistakes but the time has come to accept that I am gonna trip up but if I fall I can pick myself up, dust myself off and get back in the game. I know I am one of many who feel like we have been dealt a rough hand but maybe I should start by picking the cards for my hand in the future. Take back some control in my life and make it count for me. I will laugh at some things and I will break down and cry at other things but they will all mark my path and hopefully be a story I tell when I am old and grey (L'Oreal is covering up the grey for now). Hopefully I can share some of these if not all of these things with everyone else.

You can catch my previous blog posts here

Eek!!!!!


I’m sorry, I have been away for months. I would love to say that it was because I was leading some fabulous life but to be honest that is far from close to what it’s been like since we last spoke 6 months ago. How has life been since surgery, AWFUL. Now don’t get me wrong life has not been horrific but mentally I have not been on my best game

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I sunk back into my old habit of when life is getting a bit hard, HIDE. I wasn’t feeling good and I was feeling rundown so instead of trying to build myself up and find a positive I hid and let it all get on top of me. What has this done to my weight loss I hear you ask? Stalled it completely. I have stopped losing all because I am a numpty and let life bog me down. The worse part is I was doing so well. I went on holiday and got to go on all the rides I hadn’t gone on for years. It was amazing, my kids got so much joy out of me taking part in our holiday fun. Heck, my son who never goes on rides said it was amazing to watch me on one ride as everyone around screamed all he could hear was my laughter over the girly screams. Then real-life sinks in and I let stress work its way into my life again.


I worried about whether the university were going to let me come back and finish my degree and whether I would be able to cope with the work load. I let problems and worries about my family and friends seep through till I had once again lost myself. I am not afraid to admit it I was a bit depressed. Then I got a letter from the hospital telling me I had missed an appointment. I had let myself get so down that I had forgotten to go for my check-up. This is the one thing you don’t get warned about after you have major surgery, you will go into a depression afterwards at some point. Whether it’s straight away or months after it will happen. How can it not? I mean come on you have just had lifesaving surgery it’s going to affect you. So, what am I doing about this depression and downward spiral I went on? I am jumping back on my wagon and getting on with sorting myself out.


I joined a gym. Hah yeah, I know me in a gym who would have thought it. In all fairness I did make my sister go with me to hold my hand. I wish I could say I was brave enough to have gone and signed up by myself, but I wasn’t and thankfully my sister offered to hold my hand through the whole process. I must admit that the gym is lush and so clean. Ooh did I mention it is open 24 hours a day? Cause it is you know! The girl who showed me round was so sweet and was ok with the fact that gym’s scare the living daylights outta me. She is setting me up with a gentle programme to get me use to everything which is perfect for me. Yep I already asked them when the quietest time was to train and as I don’t really sleep a lot, I might end up going at stupid o’clock in the morning. So glad it’s open 24 hours a day, 7 days a week as the idea of working out in front of others actually makes me want to heave even though not one person gave a monkey’s that a fat woman had walked into the gym. So, I have my induction on Thursday and my sister is coming to workout with me on the Friday as she can come along and train there for free on Friday with me (how cool is that!!!). I will let you know how it goes. I was doing Zumba for a bit but found out that I looked like an elephant trying to hopscotch after dropping acid. It wasn’t a pleasant sight so best to forget that little jaunt. I can plug in my headphones and get stuck into a routine at the gym instead.


Ok, I am back now, and I promise not to spiral like that again. Thank you to everyone who messaged or emailed about the blog and why I hadn’t written for so long. All will be back to normal and my monthly rant is back with a flourish.

Mucho love to you all.

 

 



 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

To contact Sarah email blog@bigmatters.co.uk and subject line of Sarah
Sarah is an independant blogger, the views and personal opinions expressed in blogs are soley those of the original authors and other contributors.
These views and opinions do not represent those of Big Matters and/or any/all contributors to this site.

 

 


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