It is nearly three years since we learnt with tremendous sadness of the sudden death from a heart attack of Faye Darby on 30th December 2004.

We first heard about Faye in the summer of 2004 and were inspired by her positive attitude and energy. She wanted to help as many other people as she could by showing them her courage and determination. She underwent bariatric surgery in July and in the months that followed continued with her commitment to get fitter.

She was keen to contribute to the Big Matters site and to tell others of her experiences and feelings. Many followed her progress over the months on television and through our site. When we last heard from her she was very positive for the months and years to come. Faye no doubt touched many people she had never met and yet who followed her progress and took inspiration from her energy and courage.

Like so many we were shocked to hear of her death and have decided to dedicate this page to Faye, her story and her inspiration.

"My name is Faye Darby and I am 29. I am currently being featured on the BBC1 program "Fat Nation". At present I weight 29 stone 9 and decreasing rapidly.

My weight became a real problem when I reached about 18. I bought a place of my own, got a job in sales that involved going on "jollies" for every occasion and got a social life. When you are at school you are forced to do exercise twice a week and at the time I had no problem with that. I was swimming once a week and dancing several times a week. When you leave school and go into that big wide world your priorities change especially at 18 and my priority became working earning money and socialising. I used to get in from work, grab something quick from the fridge and go out again. The last thing on my mind was eating healthily and exercising. Steadily over the next 10 years my weight increased and by the time I hit 26 I was weighing about the same. As time went on all of my friends had children and I met my husband. I stopped all the socialising and going to clubs and eating takeouts late at night and started to enjoy curling up with my husband on the sofa and eating stodgy feel good food. We were both working hard and the last thing we wanted to do when we got in from work was to go back out to the gym.

My husband and I have been trying for a baby for as long as I can remember but with no success. I know the fact that I am so overweight is the problem but I find it so hard to lose weight. It is a vicious circle. If you go out walking people ridicule you so it makes you want to just stay in and hide under the covers. My husband and I joined a gym and for a while it was quiet and I really enjoyed going then it became more popular and someone made a vicious comment and I decided enough was enough. My health and my life really deteriorated about a year ago. I started to suffer with severe back pain and sciatica and some days I could hardly walk. My employers were not exactly sympathetic and I decided to hand in my resignation. My self esteem and confidence hit an all time low and I stopped driving my car and some weeks I didn't even wash or leave my house and that certainly wasn't me. I lost all motivation and I was just so very lucky that I had such supportive parents and that my husband loved me so much. If I hadn't been offered the weight loss surgery I honestly don't know where I would be today.


I underwent a type of obesity surgery called Biliopancreatic Diversion at the end of July. The operation involves removing 4/5 of your stomach and 4 metres of your normally 5 metre of intestine. Primarily this operation works by causing malapsorbtion. I am 7 weeks post op and I am finding that I can eat relatively normal foods just small portions. So far I have lost almost 3 stone.

I was approached by the BBC in April of this year. I initially had a chat with their researcher and we got on like a house on fire and things slowly progressed. The producer of the program came to see me and explained that this program would be working on the issues of training people to be healthier and I felt there approach to my situation was empathetic and I felt that I would be portrayed in a good light. They asked me if they could interview me as part of this program and I said yes. I had my first interview at home and they were so lovely it was like having a chat with friends. They handled my questioning really well and I felt relaxed at all times. They decided after that initial interview that I was a natural (ha ha) and they decided that they would devote more time to weight loss surgery within there program. I spent roughly 5 days with the crew. They were aware of my disability and the fact that I found it quite difficult to get around and to stand for long periods of time. At all times I was aware of what was going on and what the plan of action was for the day. The always listened to me and I explained to them about peoples reactions to overweight people and how awful it was most of the time just to leave the house. They took this conversation on board and suggested that we went into Birmingham and spent some time secretly filming peoples reactions. As suspected people were awful to me and although as usual I found this very hurtful I felt my experiences will ring true with so many obese people. Unfortunately due to red tape and the powers that be they were not able to show this because it encroached on peoples rights. I have since heard that there may be a way of showing this and that the crew couldn't believe peoples reactions and they are striving to find a way that they can show the film.

Obviously when they asked me if they could film my operation I was apprehensive but we talked about it and I totally trusted them. On the day of my operation I was actually pleased that they were in theatre with me because they were so lovely and they made me feel so relaxed about the whole thing. I am still filming with the BBC at present and they will be updating their program with my progress reports. I have had such wonderful emails of support and many saying how much I am helping people who are in the same position as me that sometimes I feel totally overwhelmed. At the moment I am getting Disability living allowance but I am hoping that once my weight comes off and I am more mobile and feel more confident in myself that I could do more to help obese people.

Overall I am thrilled at the way the BBC have portrayed me on this program and I would recommend it to anyone. I am very strong minded and I knew exactly how I wanted to be portrayed and they listened to me. I never wanted to be shown as someone who devours 20 donuts in one sitting because quite honestly I have never done that. Maybe i just had a very good production team but i feel that obesity and surgery is going to become such an everyday thing in the next 10 years that the media will have to become sympathetic to it.

Oct 2004

Well I am now 11 weeks post op and feeling fabulous. I have now lost 4 and a half stones and what a difference it has made to my life already. I now look after our friends children two days a week and I WALK them to school. I have never been able to do this before and It helped me clock up my 10,000 steps on my BBC pedometer too! My parent's have commented on how fast I walk now and they can't believe it. If you watched Fat Nation you will see that I have now started to swim again. I am going every week and I am trying to build up the amount of lengths every week. I still fear criticism but so far people have been supportive. I am now a size smaller on top and can't wait to have a smaller bum so that I can fit into proper trousers rather than the tracksuit style bottom's I have to buy from the big mans shop.

As you may know Fat Nation finishes next week and I will be appearing on the final live show. I have been asked for my vital statistics GULP because they want to give us all a makeover so that will be nice. I did recently pop to my local clinique counter and discussed a make-up concept.I have felt so low and so worthless for so long that I had totally forgotten what suited me. I left the store feeling pretty and confident and that was a very strange feeling.

I can now fit into my car comfortably again, fit in the chair at our local hotel (which is something I have never been able to do ever!). I actually walked round the block last night with my husband and when we got back to the front door I actually asked if we could go round again!

I can't believe how losing this weight has changed my life already. I now weigh 28 and a half stone. I still have a massive amount of weight to lose yet and I can't wait!"

Faye Darby – a very special lady

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