Jayne's Journal We would like to welcome Jayne who is embarking on a diet and wil be sharing her experiences with you. If any of you would like us to pass on messages to Jayne please email us at info@bigmatters.co.uk and we will forward your comments Thank you to Jayne from Big Matters and all those who will be with you along the coming months.

October 18th 2007

The verdict is in! Starting on my new healthy regime certainly hasn't turned me into a super model over night! The good intentions lasted for......oh a good couple of days at least. Hunger got the better of me - after all there are only so many days you can live on cereal alone.

I'm now a month into what should be a 'new me'. My little boy is in full time school and I have run out of excuses for not sticking to the diet. But I haven't stuck to it. In terms of sorting out my eating habits I still have a way to go. Don't get me wrong - I'm not gorging on cakes, chocolates and crisps - but equally I have to hold up my hands and admit to large portions of pasta, too much cheese and sneaking too many squares of flapjack when I think no one is looking! Who am I fooling? I am looking and if that doesn't stop me nothing will!

My one HUGE step forward this month has been to increase my exercise. I dug my old gym bag out from the bottom of the wardrobe, dusted it down and headed straight out of the door before I could change my mind. I did have to come back in, having forgotten my trainers, but that was only a tiny set back!

I felt both very small and ridiculously large at the same time as I walked through the door.....gyms are such huge, intimidating places to begin with and I'm sure my stomach expanded with every step as I approached reception. Behind the reception desk was a stick thin girl with the long hair and perfect smile. I swallowed hard and smiled back at her . I picked up a class timetable. At this point my feet wanted to turn and run away - well, at least I would have done some running - but I ploughed forwards into the changing rooms.

That first day I felt both proud of myself and terribly depressed about the task that lay ahead. I only walked for 20 minutes on the treadmill. I was very proud that I was there, in the gym and on a machine but equally I felt so out of breath just from this tiny amount of exercise that it really struck me how far I have to go. I treated myself to a nice cup of tea when I got home and studied the class timetable I had picked up. I read through it over and over. A pattern was forming and I had to stop it. Just as I give myself an excuse or reason as to why it's OK to eat something I know I should avoid, I was finding excuses as to why I couldn't do any of the classes. I was angry with myself. Enough is enough. I circled three classes on that timetable in thick, black pen. No excuses. I can go to them and I will. And do you know what - I have! I made a promise to myself and I am sticking to it!

I've been doing this for the last three weeks now and I can't say it's worked miracles. Trust me I wish I didn't have to do aerobics in front of the mirrored walls, there's more wobbling than I care to mention. But I have noticed a difference in the shape of my body. It's not something anyone else would notice - yet - but I will keep going until they do. As much as I never thought I would say it - I actually do look forward to my classes now. They're not easy but I feel a huge amount of satisfaction after each one and I do have more energy than I did on that first day on the treadmill.

Next month is going to throw a new spanner into the works. I'm going on holiday. For a week. A week of pizza, ice cream and......No. I mustn't! A few treats maybe but my aim is to eat more healthily. Lots of fruit and fresh food. I'll let you know how I get on. Wish me luck - I may well need it!

 

September 20th 2007

Today is the day. The day my diet will start. REALLY start. The way I have built it up in my mind you would have expected a fanfare as the alarm clock went off and an orchestral accompaniment as I cleaned my teeth. Of course I had neither. It was starting to hit home that today was, in reality, the same as any other day. No one had installed a gym in the front room overnight and the kitchen was still packed with the same dubious foods as yesterday.

I promised myself that today would be the start of the new, healthy me but if I'd thought about it I would have realised it just isn't that straightforward. I want to be healthier, to be full of energy, to fit into clothes a size smaller but the truth is, as I sit here and try to work out what to have for my first healthy breakfast, nothing is as simple as it seems.

I have been down this road before. Haven't we all? I've done Slimming World, Weight Watchers and good old Slim Fast but I honestly can't see me sticking to any 'plan' for the rest of my life. I just don't want to be counting points when I retire -I'm sick of them already! Supermarket shelves are full of products promising miracles but I don't believe there is any quick fix. Every magazine has another diet plan to help me shed half a stone, to get me 'bikini ready' and to get rid of cellulite but this isn't what I want. I want to be healthy for the long term - not to look good on the beach for one week of the Summer.

And so, back to the current dilemma - breakfast. Toast is probably not a good choice - I always feel like I've eaten a football after bread. Cereal - where do you start? There are so many and am I meant to go for oats? Wheat? Whole wheat? What about something to top it off - some fruit maybe? Dried fruit or does it have to be fresh? And which kind of fruit? I like bananas but I've heard they slow the metabolism down......the questions just go on and on.......

Let's take a step back for a minute. It's far too easy to be bamboozled by the different messages coming thick and fast. I know the basics, we all do; to eat more fresh fruit and veggies, to drink more water and to exercise more. Forget this big change starting today, I'm going to opt for a few small changes to start with. Things that I know I can stick to. I'll get off the bus a stop earlier and walk that bit further. I'll park the car at the far end of the supermarket car park and push the trolley for a bit longer. As for the eating it's not the rocket science they would have me believe. I don't need some guru telling me that I should choose lower fat food - I KNOW I'm better with a banana than a cream cake. I am going to take control of what I am eating. This is me. I've started. I will be healthier. One small step at a time.